Kinder X
If there's one form of chocolate that I take particular delight in, it's Kinder Surprise. You know, the chocolate egg with the toy in it? Yeeah. Everyone loves Kinder eggs, as they shall hereby be referred to as. Not only is one's chocolate craving satisfied by the delicious combination of white and milk chocolate, there's the toy.
Once I've devoured my chocolate, I love cracking open that little plastic case thing inside and seeing what little bits of plastic require putting together. Recently, I've noticed that these bits get less and less and plastic figurines, pre-built or almost complete have started to appear. Not only is this a travesty as there is nothing that I enjoy more when stoned than the challenge of building a plastic racecar, I have also noticed a disturbing new theme to these toys.
It seems that those cunning employees at Kinder are finding ways to have a bit of subversive fun with the kinder toys. Tired of racecars, chicken with flapping wings and so forth, these poor souls (who probably thought their degreee from an art school would pay far more dividends than designing plastic crap for unappreciative kids, are probably grinning into their coffee. I first noticed with a rather dubious mariachi guitar player, who when run along a surface would jiggle his arm supposedly to look like he was playing his little plastic guitar. In reality, it looked like he was having a whole different kind of fun, if you get my drift. I have since lost the little mexican but last week, I got a whole new obscene kinder surprise.
Having munched through my chocolate and cracked open the plastic inside, I was greeted with the sight of a very bug-eyed pre-built figurine of a pirate snail (I know). At first, I tossed it aside, thinking it didn't do anything. It wasn't until much (well ok, an hour) later when I was considerably drunk that I picked up the toy again and ran it along the table top.
I was shocked. As my pirate snail wobbled along the table, his eyes began to pulse in and out, his head expanded and contracted again and honest to God, he was gurning. I couldn't believe it, pirate snail had clearly munched his way through a bag of ecstasy. Unfortunately, I can't figure out a way to video the movement as the figure is so small, so below are a series of close-ups of the one I have dubbed 'Kinder X'.
Once I've devoured my chocolate, I love cracking open that little plastic case thing inside and seeing what little bits of plastic require putting together. Recently, I've noticed that these bits get less and less and plastic figurines, pre-built or almost complete have started to appear. Not only is this a travesty as there is nothing that I enjoy more when stoned than the challenge of building a plastic racecar, I have also noticed a disturbing new theme to these toys.
It seems that those cunning employees at Kinder are finding ways to have a bit of subversive fun with the kinder toys. Tired of racecars, chicken with flapping wings and so forth, these poor souls (who probably thought their degreee from an art school would pay far more dividends than designing plastic crap for unappreciative kids, are probably grinning into their coffee. I first noticed with a rather dubious mariachi guitar player, who when run along a surface would jiggle his arm supposedly to look like he was playing his little plastic guitar. In reality, it looked like he was having a whole different kind of fun, if you get my drift. I have since lost the little mexican but last week, I got a whole new obscene kinder surprise.
Having munched through my chocolate and cracked open the plastic inside, I was greeted with the sight of a very bug-eyed pre-built figurine of a pirate snail (I know). At first, I tossed it aside, thinking it didn't do anything. It wasn't until much (well ok, an hour) later when I was considerably drunk that I picked up the toy again and ran it along the table top.
I was shocked. As my pirate snail wobbled along the table, his eyes began to pulse in and out, his head expanded and contracted again and honest to God, he was gurning. I couldn't believe it, pirate snail had clearly munched his way through a bag of ecstasy. Unfortunately, I can't figure out a way to video the movement as the figure is so small, so below are a series of close-ups of the one I have dubbed 'Kinder X'.
posted by adulescent at 6:45 PM
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